dudley_do_ride: The Tall Glass of Cold Milk Thread - 4/21/18 - Female Performer Chat

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Female Performer Chat: The Tall Glass of Cold Milk Thread

Created by: davidzzzzzz

5/14/18 @ 12:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 13,827

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to lactating Mammals

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

5/15/18 @ 12:10am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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The daily energy intake of a non-gravid, non-lactating, adult pika ( 171 g) is estimated at 54.8 kcal of which 68% is assimilated.

Source: onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.2307/1935657/pdf

:smoking

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Created by: davidzzzzzz

5/15/18 @ 5:59pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 13,827

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Non-Gravid Assimilation makes me lactate. :jerkoff

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Created by: davidzzzzzz

5/16/18 @ 6:42pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 13,827

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This may be a bit off topic, but, turtles can breathe outta their buttholes.

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Created by: mistress4cunts

7/17/20 @ 1:09pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: A state of control
Posts: 11

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A human being should never stop drinking breast milk. We need to create a lactation farm to provide the country with 100% natural human breast milk.🍼

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/19/20 @ 2:40pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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A human being should never stop drinking breast milk. We need to create a lactation farm to provide the country with 100% natural human breast milk.🍼

You can drink the big farm milk if that's what you like. *eye roll*

I only drink Belle Delphine Brand Breast Milk. She is a free range milk vixen!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/22/20 @ 3:32pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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I have been working hard... playing hard...

In my bone weary state I can almost see the barn... smell the hay. Though I will never be beyond the pail... I find it easy to dream of those who have gone on before. Canute Cookie Dunker... Sven Malt Beard... Low Fat Loki... Ragnar Lucerne...

I leave with cud well formed... Passing on my lands and titles to eager calves.

I have tried to never steer you wrong... Never forget the udder of my mother...

Now I can join my beloved Moona. Giving her that heavenly rich non-homogenized straight from the source eternal bath. With freed fingers.

Stay dunny Jersey girl...

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Created by: captured73

1/22/21 @ 6:37pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 162

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Thats the newest thread I could find here from you dudley. Seems they removed the complete thread of the discussion. I admit that I pushed the button, but did not want that everything is removed, just certain comments.

Greetings and I like your calm way to discuss and exchange views.

In this thread I did not understand what is the subject, so I cannot contribute anything here

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/22/21 @ 6:56pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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lol good man and thanks. I confess that your comment pricked my conscience and I headed back to do the same. But you had already pulled the plug.

I think it may reappear disabled with the offending post gone + others perhaps. Or not. I regret nothing. For me was a good exercise. Though I was contemplating commenting on objectivism / Rand lol. Probably good that didn't happen.

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Created by: sexytalluniquedude

1/22/21 @ 7:26pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Was this thread's topic about lactating women? I can't have milk, as I am lactose intolerant. I have no patience of lactose, and I won't stand for it.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/24/21 @ 4:26pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Mike Wallace: 1st round is on me. Gotta say, first time I've been to a milk bar.

C Hitchens: You'll excuse me if I supply my own drink. Milk is worse than water.

Ride: Not at all gents... not at all. I am still amazed to get the invite for this night out. When you were alive I don't think you'd have the time for me.

C Hitchens: Well it is rarer for someone to say something nice about the press... collectively or individually. If you are sweet to us, we will be more inclined to be sweet to you.

Ride: lol after Diana and Teresa got it from you, I am not so sure how sweet you could ever be.

C Hitchens: I did take special glee in that work. I am afraid I can't hide it, nor should I. I take it you didn't approve?

Ride: You have really made me change my views on a number of things. When you wrote I may have had an amusing first reaction but I always read you closely and found wisdom and logic in most of what you said. You were one of the biggest champions of free speech that I ever encountered. You reminded me of my great love of Paine's work. Gave me an excuse to go to it again with fresh eyes.
My affection for you let me allow you some leeway in your debate strategies lol. You were great on the stage reacting real time under time pressure. You were never boring.

Mike Wallace: Really? I'd love to interview you right now Hitch. Even though something in me makes me want a journalist to stay out of the story.

Ride: I remember you showing that in an interview of a certain Chinese dictator. Part of the fun was the argument about whether he was a dictator. But the clever guy asked you for a personal opinion on a controversial matter. About a spy I think it was. Made some fun of you while you deliberated for a long long time. Then you said you didn't know whether you should answer that question. Such a classic interview. He recited the Gettysburg address as part of his general strategy after the discussion of the student rebellion that happened so recently and after discussing his own rebellion back in his youth. Your follow ups on that were just wonderful. Balanced. America knew a lot more about this guy after that. As usual you got him into that comfortable state where he really was able to say what he truly believed and argue much more honestly than he otherwise might.

Mike Wallace: Thank you. I am glad that I reached that part of my career where I was able to do the work I felt was important. There were times when it didn't look like I would. Even after getting to this point in my career I had to deal with depression. You may have seen some of my work on this subject.

Ride: Despite your great talent you are human. I am so glad to share this milk with you. You did great. I am proud of you.

Milk strengthens the bones. Soothes the tum. Completes the cereal.

But there is nothing like the milk of human kindness.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/31/21 @ 3:18am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Yes sit down and have a cool one with me. I am having a large glass of skim but you are young, indulge, have the real thing. You may pay for your own. I know it gives you the pride of accomplishment and I would not deny that. Try not to groan at the price, you are paying for atmosphere too you know.

It is time you got the wisdom of the elders regarding women. You are making those big decisions now, at this point of your life, that will set your destiny. Picking the right woman for your wife is very important. Whether to wive at all is important. Let us focus on this deep matter. You have enough big things to decide in this short period of your existence. Consider one deeply and leave the rest for a time.

Frankly the subject induces a great weariness in me. It forces me to divulge many realities. Dread secrets must be passed to cross threshold into full manhood. Each time I play my role in the initiation it ages me more. As all things duty do.

So you will forgive me if I break here. To relax. And enjoy a few sips of my drink and brood. Brood as I think of those who have neglected the wisdom of the ancients. Brood for the young who never hear the words at all due to the treachery of their adversaries. Or the beguiling beauty of the world. Tranquil waters belying the horrors under the surface.

It is sober work before us. We will drink many glasses 'for we are through. When we are done you will be a man. You will have the full load of the world on your shoulders then. Your eye will cast itself over the party and see for the first time the players, the choices, the consequences.

Drink.. Drink. Enjoy the music. Smile the last smile of innocence. Soon you will know. Know with full certainty. That... The greatest joy... is the joy... of duty.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/1/21 @ 12:33am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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She was a woman... with tits.. and everything.

She could lactate on command. She often would tempt me with a glass fresh from her ample bosom.

Then her eyes would gleam with mischief as she argued that power descended upon the necks of the people from boons from the crown. Whatever that was.

But even with mouth filmed with her silky milk, I would fiercely argue for the people as the source of all such power.

The beautiful tyrant would then scissor me between her thighes and demand that I submit to her will. But I would never submit. Making her cum with defiant gleam in my eyes. My tongue telling my freedom and making her moan for mercy as I assaulted her very g.

So it would go. Glass after glass. Orgasm after orgasm. Till at last she struck colors and marched out.

This milk before me is pure cow milk. As I drink it my heart swells with pride! We will never unknow what we have learned!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/1/21 @ 1:44am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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We here at DoRide Industries would like to apologize for the trajectory of this thread.

Editorial control was lost some time ago. Mr Do_Ride unfortunately has entered a period of paranoia and philosophical fanaticism. In his efforts to multitask he has been guilty of listening to audio books on philosophy while imbibing various types of porn. This has resulted in an irrational distrust of the mistress community. And a fixation on leather goods.

He has been confined to quarters and the thread will now be heavily peer reviewed post by post.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/2/21 @ 2:08am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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That's how it was... when a galleon strayed too far north and sighted the Jersey coast... far from the shipping lane... off an inhospitable main.

One moment just the wind... and the next sounds of the dread shanty:

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!
dairy and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk.

The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike
The bosun brained with a marlinspike
And cookey's throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men
Like break o'day in a boozing ken.
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk.

Fifteen men of the whole ship's list
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!
The skipper lay with his nob in g0re
Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the soggy skies
Dripped down in up-staring eyes
In murk sunset and foul sunrise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk.

Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!
Ten of the crew had the mooder mark!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!
Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead
Or a yawing hole in a battered head
And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red
And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes
Looking up at paradise
All souls bound just contrariwise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk.

Fifteen men of 'em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!
Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Moo,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!
There was chest on chest of Spanish gold
With a ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot of stuff untold,
And they lay there that took the plum
With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!

More was seen through a sternlight screen...
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk
Chartings undoubt where a woman had been
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk.
'Twas a flimsy shift on a bunker cot
With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot
And the lace stiff dry in a purplish blot
Oh was she wench or some shudderin' maid
That dared the kn1fe and took the blade
By God! she had stuff for a plucky jade
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk.

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk
dairy and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk.
We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight
With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/5/21 @ 12:59pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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I don't have a tattoo anywhere and I never will. It has to do with milk worship. My milk must be invariant to coordinate transformations. Isotropic. Linear. Each polarization of incident radiation behaving the same at every angle aside from normal dielectric incidence angle effects.

My milk must be cold. I will reject warm milk. it must not be powdered. It must not come from goats. Certainly not from vegetables.

It must not be silly. I like my milk deadly serious. Thus I never take it with a straw nor do I let it go through my nose. It is drunk with some amount of bearing.

If you break my milk rules I regard you as part of the rabble. And will consign you the the ch1ldren's table at feasts. Wipe your chin and upper lip after each lusty quaff if you want my approval.

If you are lactose intolerant I do understand, at some abstract level, but pity you the way I'd pity an antelope with a hamstring pull watching a car whizz by on the highway.

It has been this way since time began for milk and man.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/8/21 @ 4:53am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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How can I convey what I am feeling for you at this very moment? What words can capture the passion raging within?

Your figure... omg... I picked you myself so carefully. I was sick of traditional vessels. The hard water here playing havoc so quickly. Ruining the flimsy designs. Clouding the clear complexions. My rough play shattering delicate stems and cracking showy compositions.

So I finally hit upon using jars. Trying all kinds of styles and shapes. Pickle jars. Pasta sauce jars. Big and fat. Small and slim. But all with thick workhorse glass not for show but for blessed utility. To stand the pressures of a good vacuum seal... just like I can deliver with puckered lips on demand. Strong enough to take whacks to break that seal and twist off the tight cap.

Yes... that was the key. Jars.

Oh on occasion I used big pewter pitchers. For the powerful straight arm of the Viking feast. For the wild holiday pounding. But for the steady, long term affair... for the committed chug love... nothing can match the humble sturdy jar.

Oh the rush I get when I rip off the top and guzzle down pickles, sweet sweet pickles, and then give a quick rinse with my strong tap. Just a single swirl. Then pour from a big gurgling, popping jug from some height. Getting the counter wet with splash. Hearing the pitch change , seeing the glass cloud with thick goodness.

That first fitful chug. When I have been craving it. Sloshing it over teeth that just soak in the strengthening calcium and cool down my spiced up tongue. Oh it is pure heaven!

My dick gets so hard... I must confess... I have associated that swig with all good things. I don't need a bath of it. A shower. I just swirl it luxuriously in my mouth and feel it dribble off my chin onto my bare, strong, naked, barrel chest. Making hairs sticky. Leaving that mineral residue beyond to rub off with strong fingers.

I will lap you noisily with talented tongue. I will tilt back my head and take in every drop. Setting you down hard on the counter before filling you once again all the way to the top.

Over and over and over again.

I will never stop loving you! Year after year it just gets better and better!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/20/21 @ 1:27am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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*scuttle scuttle* ...
...
...
*scuttle scuttle*
...
...
...
*POUNCE CLACK... CLACK*
...
*Gulp Gulp Gulp Gulp* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

Crab woman drinks her milk with both her pincers fixed!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/23/21 @ 12:37am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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It was a dark and stormy night... A shot rang out... A maid screamed! A pirate ship appeared on the horizon!

Meanwhile, in East Eddington, the milkman had not come for days.

Oh hear the dull tinny sound on the turgid plains. Milkman. Oh milkman. Hear. Hear the clunking fray.

When I was a ch1ld I greeted the milkman's knock with a dance. Now. A sadder wiser soul. I just sit in my dark room and keen. Keen at the knock. Now only a tattered memory.

Keeeeeeeeeeeeeen. Rising in pitch. Falling in pitch. Warbling up and down. Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

Oh it raineth on the skim. It raineth on the full. Surely it raineth on all the saym.

Milkman. Come agayn. To fudge the living but not the dead. Milkman. Miiiiiiillllllllllkman. It does not profit to keen thy name.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

3/10/21 @ 1:05am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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It's rathair dunny in town I think I'll nip off to the field and ... gee

When I retire I'll go off and chew my cud in that field by the sea...

Mooooo oooooo Mooooo oooooo Wooooooouldn't... it... be... udderly.

Clippity clop de bum be bop de fippity fop de bop de bop

All I want is a field some wair...

Far ahhhwy fra the tug sa bare

With wahn enoormoos chair

Ohhhhhh wooooooouldn't it be.... udderly!

Lotsa grass for me ta aheeet

With loose loose roots now ain't that sweet!

Na bell.. na pail... na rayn in sheets...

owwwwwwww would... nnnt... that be udderly!

ow sow udderly blooms the flowers in millair's field...

ah.. would... nevair budge 'til Spring frolicks ovair the blooming reel!

Lot's ah lettuce for me to eat! Lot's of turnips and nevair beets!

Soft dirt, clean air and quiet streets!

Owwwwwwwwwww wooden tit be udderly! Udderly... Udderly!

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