ChrisDK: [Do-it-yourself] Impractical DIY Projects - 4/12/16

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Games: [Do-it-yourself] Impractical DIY Projects

Created by: chrisdk

4/12/16 @ 11:10am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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This is a game idea that was roaming my mind for some time, I hope we can get it running, as I don't have many ideas for it yet.

This has similarities to the "Corrupt a Wish game" by ozzieboy4u. Here is how it works:
The player requests help / instructions on how to do / achieve something.
The reply should be a ridiculous, yet somewhat believable and in particular convincing suggestion to that.

An example: How to bake the perfect man?
Reply:
Take flour, water, add some spices, in particular pepper and chili to make him hot for love, not too much salt to keep him from being cynical, put some glamour and class, add some coins for his fortune, add your favorite book and music, so you have something to talk about, add something from your favorite pet, so he will like it too, put a memory stick with important dates, so he won't forget the birthday of your parents, add enthusiasm and humor.

WARNING: ONLY add sports equipment when you are into sports, too.

Knead him and bring him into the desired form. Turn the heat on slowly, keep the leash long, and when the dough rises, reel him in faster and faster. Seal it with a kiss and he's yours forever [maintainance not included.]

I guess I start, so here, what I would like to know:

How to tie a tie?

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Created by: lickau

4/12/16 @ 5:16pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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How to tie a tie?

Find or cut material that tapers on both ends about 75 cm long .

Put around neck or leg .
Loop around 360 and put wider over the thinner part .
Pull up and push under - aim for the whole and pull through .
2 fingers in a V shape for the knot or 3 fingers for squarer shape .
If too long - hide in shirt or cover with suit coat .
Take 3 shots of favorite spirits and head off for work .
May repeat shots at lunch if needed "hiccccccuuuuuuppppppppppp"

Next up : Build an Igloo

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Created by: chrisdk

4/13/16 @ 10:34am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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How to build an igloo?

Get a construction permission in a suitable place where the temperature is constantly below -5°C (23°F). If you plan to build an ice mansion we recommend Ant(arctic)a, Svalbard or Greenland.

Get warm clothes, like REALLY warm clothes, a chain saw, a gas cooker, a hammer, picks of different sizes, a pickaxe and huge pliers. With those tools cut blocks out of the surface of a frozen lake (try not to stand on it). When you have enough blocks start placing them in an arc, piling them up higher and making the arc smaller.
If you hit the ceiling with your head, your arc got small too fast, rebuild.
If your igloo has not entrance, I said ARC, you built a full circle ... rebuild.
If animals are flocking towards you in pairs you build an ark ... rethink and rebuild.
If you get cold turn on the gas cooker, I told you, you'll need REALLY warm clothes.

Here's a helpful video*:

Next up : Making a Halloween costume

*in the Eurovision Song contest the different countries (and it's representing singers) are making small, introductory "postcard" videos broadcasted before their act; this is Finland's 2014 contribution, arguably one of the best postcards that year and great song too

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Created by: lickau

4/13/16 @ 2:09pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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Making Halloween Costume :

1 - Raid a Goodwill Shop OR find an older neighbor/family member and grab some colorful older clothes .

2 - Todays exercise we chose 1970s-1980s wardrobe .
Nice silk disco shirt , Flannel shirt , Concert T-shirts of 50 bands , Jeans of all colors and styles , and many accessories .

3 - Cut a Bandana to wrap around your head using silk disco shirt . Grab the tight white jeans and bleach them on HOT water . Use white belt and light colored bath robe . Wash robe with the jeans .

4 - Now you are cooking ! White jeans on and bandana . Bath robe cut length to at knees . Add white belt [ you new - no black yet :orglaugh

] . tie that proud bandana on forehead , and guess what ? .... Ready for Kung Foo Fighting :bowdown

5- Might not be the best costume - YOUR costume kicks ass :thumbsup

Next up : Inventive ways to wake up in the morning .

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Created by: chrisdk

4/13/16 @ 2:44pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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Inventive ways to wake up in the morning :

You sometimes have trouble to wake up in the morning? Here is a number of great inventions (patents pending) to help you out! The most important tool is a clock timer or a light-sensor used to switch on the following inventions.

1 - The "my house is burning" method: put toast into your toaster before you go to bed. Let the toaster be switched on automatically in the morning. Depending on how deep your sleep is, you might have fresh toast with this method, too. In some cases, a helpful firemen will wake you up.

2 - Another "burn, burn, burn" method: Go to sleep in a tanning bed. If that switches on in the morning, you'll wake up from the produced heat. Depending on your sleep, you get a great tan with that in addition and all your friends will envy you. In some cases, you might get a severe sunburn, but this surely wakes you up!

3 - The "burglar in the house" approach: Put a shoe on a rotating axis and together with the clock timer plug it into a socket over a staircase. When it starts rotating in the morning, it will sound like a whole gang of burglars running up your stairs and you will wake up with a racing heart and fully pumped for the day!

4 - The "angry neighbor" approach: You prefer to be woken by someone knocking and shouting at your door? Use your clock timer creatively in your neighbors garden, e.g. with the electric lawn-mower or place a Russian siren left from the war in their bushes, but also make sure they know it was you!

5 - Get a cat! [If you don't know Simon's cat yet, you missed out on something!]

Next up : Summer holiday woodwork project with kjds: How to build a birds house.

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Created by: lickau

4/13/16 @ 3:37pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
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Summer holiday woodwork project with kjds: How to build a birds house :

1 - Have small pieces of wood to frame tiny house for birds . Gather red mud and small sticks and twigs .

2 - Have a table on the porch and chairs to sit .

3 - Build 7 similar sized "walls"

4 - Use 4 walls in a square . Add bottom using red mud inside instead of glue . Add 2 walls on top as an inverted "V" roof . Add mud and twigs to close square with roof .

5 - Cut size hole for the size bird you want . Place some extra twigs and hair inside bird house so the birds can fill in any holes . Tie a string or use coat hanger and place bird house outside .
[ Red mud is like clay . Used even for real homes . ]

Next up : Shopping for chocolates

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Created by: chrisdk

4/15/16 @ 2:46pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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Shopping for chocolates :

If you wake up in a state of piece of mind and in balance with yourself and your environment: it is a great day for shopping for chocolates without remorse!
If you are really dedicated to buying chocolate, don't just go to the supermarket, go to a place that ONLY sells chocolate (Hussel, La Cure Gourmande, Fassbender & Rausch, Ritter Sport, Peter Beier ... )

1 - A real bargain to discover something new in taste are chocolate shards. These leftovers from chocolate making are a great eyesight too due to their strange shapes.

2 - Step up your game with gourmet chocolates in a neat box. Best thing if you can choose your own selection from the counter and relive the selection process when you eat them later.*

3 - The holy grail of a day of shopping for chocolates are figures made of chocolate. Out of season we don't recommend to ask for bunnies or bearded men. Get a chocolate rose or champagne glass to treat yourself. Also great as a gift: a car, sports trophy or cigar made of chocolate for a gentleman. Pumps, a cute animal or a big heart for a lady. And many more things to discover.

4 - If you like to take chocolate for further processing at home, we recommend chocolate vermicelli for (cup-)cakes and chocolate buttons for a (romantic? chocolate-smeared faces included) fondue.

*or are you really thinking of sharing your treasure hunt findings?

Next up : How to decide which book to read next from the shelf of "unread books"

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Created by: lickau

4/15/16 @ 7:44pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
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How to decide which book to read next from the shelf of "unread books" :

1 - Ignore the top shelves that have dusty books .

2 - Look for the shopping bag on bottom shelf from Vacations and Holidays when all books did not get read .

3 - Sort the 3 of 4 books that have not been read in any fashion - close eyes and pick 1 .
Read and Enjoy

Next up : How to decide next Holiday

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Created by: chrisdk

4/16/16 @ 3:26am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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[not what I had in mind, but for sure a movie I would love to see, lol]

How to decide next Holiday :

1 - Zap trough your TV program and the first place that is mentioned and sparks your interest ... go!

2 - Go through your neighbors post cards and see if you find inspiration ...

3 - Take a world map either from a book of geography, a spinning globe or a tapestry. Get your darts ready ... and hit it!! If you hit an ocean with no clear closest distance to an island or country, repeat. If you are not going alone, let your partner try, too, though (s)he might have other destinations in mind, (s)he is probably worse at this than you ... If you hit a hostile place - like Antarctica or Sahara - try again, but it might be destiny calling ...

Next up : How to make the cat swallow her meds

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Created by: lickau

4/16/16 @ 1:55pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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How to make the cat swallow her meds :

1 - Gather medication

2 - Gather cat and repeat as needed

3 - Place medicine inside cat mouth and cover mouth with fingers . Wait for cat to swallow .

4 - Repeat with each pill

5 - Go see Doctor to repair hands and arms shredded by the cat

Next up : Build a Bookcase

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Created by: chrisdk

4/16/16 @ 2:23pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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How to Build a Bookcase :

1 - Go to IKEA and ask for Billy, choose a suitable color. [It's one of the most popular pieces of furniture sold, I bought it twice so far, the 45 kg package is tedious though.]

2 - At home, unpack and try to follow the instructions.

3 - Ask a friendly neighbor to assist you. Set it up together.

4 - Fill it with plushies, souvenirs, postcards, tealights ... and oh, yes, right, with books. :thumbsup

5 - Enjoy! The IQ of your bookshelf is higher than yours except for when you know how to make the right use of it. :bulb

Next up : behave during a hurricane

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Created by: lickau

4/16/16 @ 2:44pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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behave during a hurricane :

1 - Travel to US East Coast during Hurricane Season

2 - Select a Bar that serves Food and Hurricane drinks

3 - When Hurricane warning starts , get table close to kitchen and order food and a Hurricane .

4 - Watch TV and see silly people outside getting wet or blown a little up in the air .

5 - Repeat ordering food and Hurricanes until all is finished .
[ I take summer Holiday at Cape May most late summers . Hurricane 3 times that never hit that part of south New Jersey . ]

Next Up : How to give a cat a bath

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Created by: chrisdk

4/17/16 @ 12:56am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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How to give a cat a bath :

1 - When it rains, get your cat outside ... wait till the weather is better ... just brush and all good.

2 - If it doesn't rain often enough ... visit buddhist temple to learn meditation and ways to never get angry about anything, to love life, humans, plants and animals. Go back home ... remember the task you prepared for.

3 - Outside: get a hose with a gentle water adapter, get a firm mat, a towel and cat shampoo. Grab your cat under the belly, turn on the hose ... chase your cat around the garden with the hose. Keeps you healthy and the neighbors entertained.

4 - Inside: put a firm matress in your bath tub or shower, have the towel and shampoo nearby. Grab your cat under the belly, smile, put him/her onto the matress and get the shower head. Wet from collar to tip of tail, ignore trembling, shampoo from collar to tip of tail (don't forget the legs), ignore growling, wash face gently with your hands, ignore biting, rinse from collar to tip of tail, ignore the continuous biting and scratching. Grab the towel ...

5 - ... next time you see the cat, it's already dry, the towel is for the patches it leaves in the house. Don't forget to patch up yourself and use an antiseptic. Meditate and keep loving life ... and your cat!

Next Up : How to cure Trollitis?

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Created by: lickau

4/17/16 @ 1:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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How to cure Trollitis?

1 - Use Bug Spray . Simply Vinegar works well on many Trolls .

2 - If #1 does not work , paint the troll in YOUR favorite color and place paint bucket up their azz .

3 - Nuclear option - saved for worst infestation of Trolls . Play Bob Hope music for 72 hours and shoot anyone that stays with AK 47 .

4 - Enjoy your Troll-free life .

Next Up : Determine which came 1st - The chicken or The egg .

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Created by: chrisdk

4/17/16 @ 4:49am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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How to determine which came 1st - The chicken or The egg?

1 - Interview 1000 chickens. Interview 1000 eggs. Make statistics about the opinion of chickens and eggs.

2 - Start interviewing human experts about chickens and eggs. DON'T go to KFC.

3 - Start interviewing paleontologists about the origin of chickens and eggs.

4 - Learn that as long as the question does not explicitly name "chicken eggs" you are safe to say, eggs were first, just not the chicken eggs. Evolution had to produce an animal that we would call chicken in a long process, but had eggs for a long time. Only chicken lay chicken eggs, so chicken had to be there before chicken egg. All other type of eggs were there before the chicken.

Next Up : How to make the perfect family photo?

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Created by: lickau

4/17/16 @ 6:50pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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How to make the perfect family photo

1 - Forget about using your REAL family - too busy . Rent a group of University students and teachers .

2 - Pick a bar or nice diner to be the place for the shoot . Drunker people look happier .

3 - Hire the drunkest one to take the picture / pictures .

4 - Display your new family picture above fireplace mantel .

Next up : The Perfect Rootbeer Float :drinkup

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Created by: chrisdk

4/18/16 @ 8:53am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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How to make the Perfect Rootbeer Float :

1 - If you live in the US, you're lucky: There are many good-quality regional root beers. Buy the best one you can find in your area. Take a large glass, scoop some ice-cream of your choice and fill up with root beer of your choice. Accompany with an umbrella and a straw. Enjoy!

2 - If you live in Denmark and are desperate enough: Talk to US/Canadian expats and find out which bars or restaurants serve root beer. Go there and beg. Beg a little more. Fall on your knees, make a scene and finally get some root beer together with a bruised eye.

3 - At home, use vanilla ice cream on your bruise and drink beer from the can.

4 - Find out your local supermarket has a section with American products and get root beer from there next time.

Next up : Ways to make animal plushies at home.

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Created by: lickau

4/18/16 @ 5:24pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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Ways to make animal plushies at home.

1 - Determine what animal or format you want

2 - Cut out 2 forms and sew them together - use appropriate stuffing . Cotton , feathers , hair , etc

3 - Add eyes and a smile to the new sewed form .

4 - Chose lucky k1d or BIG k1d to give the form to - often claimed before you can chose .

5 - Sit back and enjoy the k1d enjoying the new plushy !

Next up : Choosing the NEXT Forum Game !

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Created by: chrisdk

4/19/16 @ 3:05am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447

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Choosing the NEXT Forum Game !

1 - If your head is a big chaos, note down whirling ideas, discuss with friends and enemies.

2 - Get some inspiration on the web and other forum communities. Find out they can post pictures and have a whole lot of different games than what is possible on Flirt. Be frustrated for a bit.

3 - Try to keep it simple ... try again and harder this time. People don't like games that get too complicated and need more than a glance to reply to.

4 - You think your idea is crazy? You think YOUR idea is CRAZY? There is only one way to find out ...

5 - Jump ahead right into cold water and see what happens.

Next up : Write a song

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Created by: lickau

4/19/16 @ 3:23pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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Write a song :

1 - Let the words come to you . No need to force the story or make it rhyme .

2 - Put pen to paper . La la la la la la ...... Add a few musical notes to guide later .

3 - Sing it out loud EVERYWHERE !!! Who cares the store cashier called security on you ?

4 - Now in a quiet padded cell - MORE time and write more songs with your crayons

Next Up ; Decide what is for dinner .

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